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it doesnt feel like the new yr.. yes i went to a party and had a few alcoholic beverages and a good time.. but it just doesnt feel like anythign has changed.. strange yes! but shmeh! xmas felt ruined.. i had a shitty day really coz id planned it well and had ahuge surprise organised for nikkis sister and that went ok.. but j was in a stupid mood all day and was being abnoxious and i was fuming.. so yeh ruined day...the next few days were pretty much the same..then we got to new yrs eve day and the same thing.. he was ina rude mood and kept on with horrid things.. so by this time was absoltuely sick of being annoyed and being treated like crap.. hes changed alot over the last few months.. so i confronted him yesterday about it.. and he thought he was the same.. nope.. i told him u have cahngd soooo much and we have to get u back to normal i want to grow old with u and not resent u or regret my yrs with u .. i dont want to argue in fornt of gabe and we had previously talked about it b4 he was even concieved that we'd never yell and argue in fornt of him/her and what has he been doing.. exactly that... so over the nightitme and over today and tonight he has been spending time with me and trying his hardest to be thoughtful and do everythign right again..im not going to go into detail about his changes but they are drastic adn have made me so depressed over the last yr.. to the point where i didnt wanna even confidein him anymore and he noticed!. so now i htink that we have started something new.. anywho so things are lookign a bit better and we had a good day.. thankgoodness! yeh so new yrs came and went.. wheres the excitment ?.. i didnt feel it.. i suppose i felt a little over looked.. we had a group party for NYE and well everyone seemed only to chat to me coz i had gabe or they only talked to me about him.. so i feel a tad lonely, it seems like that ever since he was born ppl only realy come over or are really talkative becoz of gabe.. i love him and all so i dont mean to sound resentful.. coz im not.. i wouldnt trade him for the world.. but it is getting me down.hmm life eh?
Tags: lonely, nye xmas beverages
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