kikiannalee

11:10 am: stuff
 well this last week has been busy as.. baby shower planning for a friend.. gabes bday planning.. and other things..

 been doing heaps of aura and picture readings on paranormal universe.

 starting to really enjoy life at the moment.. 

 gabriel is finally turning one.. however this yr haas flown  just feel like ive been looking forward to his bday for a while lol.. not wishing time away  or anything.. just excited..

 hes also started walking.. only a few steps here and there  but he may be walking proper by his bday...  so excited and proud..!
 as everyone knows we are still trying  for our enxt baby.. and all the signs are looking good :)  so fingers crossed.!!! xx

two of my friends have recently had their babies.  so exciting and cute.. one is a pre existing family welcoming a new family member.. the other a new family bloomed.. so this is a momentous yr for a them.. and us.. too 

i have this stupid cough at the moment.. its ticklish and wotn go away .. no other symptoms.. its just there.. grrr
i had a healing done from distaance froma  lady on  para and then  go t sick so i think she didnt do it quite right.. i have no reason to be sick right now.. and i have just been sick as iw as stressed and upset..   so yeh . go figure

07:25 pm: wow its been a time
 ok so i havent been on for ages!  alot has happend.. gabe is now over 10 months old.. ive also been on holidays, and lost a friend..  whom ive been friends with for the better part of 11 yrs now.. shes changed and i know relationships change adn ppl do to..  just didnt think she would oh well
  i think ive also broken or grazed a rib or two .. it hurts!
 gabe is nearly walking.. hes getting there ..  and about to get mroe teeth! poor lil thing! oh the grumbles this week! 

well i cant think of much to write  so i will another day .. ciao

07:07 pm: lately
 well lately has been strange. j and i nerly broke up.. i was on the verge of leaving.. we'd grown apart so miuch with out us knowing it really.. j had also just gone weird.. insensitve.. and hadnt cahgned along with me when gubby ws born.. you need to change intoa parent/ friend and lover.. and somewhere we just slipped.. j asked if we could keep trying and start datig again.and things have re surfaced and we are soo much better.. it was a long week and a bit.. and it al happened over my damn birthday! 

anyway so being 23 is cool! i love ti.. not much has changed il give u that.. but its nice. i like getting older.. (ask me again when im 63) 
6 weeks till our surfers paradise holiday! cant wait.. dont wanna leave gubby  but its only 4 days.. so im sure we'l b fine! 
current hair colour- after a failed attempt at blonding yesterday.. ( i had too many coloursunderneath- went brown and orange and blonde)- didnt wanna keep dying it so itd break off))
so now its black! oh yes .. well blue black so i feel rockin' again!  anywho gonna be moving closer to the beach soom me hopes whihc shal be awesumness! after oct holiay we';l be moving yay! sick of this house..  need more room!   ciao peeps! xoxo

08:06 am: grrr
 i need to vent..
i recently found out that iam a sensitive.. i have a paranormal site and have befriended a guy whos an investigator in texas.. hes nice enough to share his findign s with me and he went toa house that had been reported to be haunted on sunday.. came home and sent me picsi have always had this thing where id get a feeling or images from looking at a place or pics or whatever but never thought much of it.. i dont like to toot my own horn, so i dont really talk about it.. anywho.. so going over the pics i picked up on a few spirits that were in the house. long story short.. they toldme nothing about the house and i figured out who wasw there.. we meaning the lady whos house was hauntee and the investigator guy .. helped  the ladies brother whod died 25 yrs ago pass on.. i also helped uneartha family history at the house.. a 9 yr old boy haunts the house.. ( its a rental but its 102yrs old.. the lady has no tie to the family that owned it ) i had nothing to go on but the pics adn we figured out tht he was killed by an accident via his father .. i had picked up that he was killd by either a falling tree or axe wound.. i dont know texas at all i suck at geography these days.. so i dont know the area at all.. the guy got back to me the next day  sayign that hed looked up the history of the town adn house a bit. the house had 2 boys a girl amother and father.. the father had a  a furniture making biz from the house pre 1940's and one son had died.. a 9 yr old.. however.. in the local cemetary there is no grave.. so i have a feeling they buried hij in the back yard.. the tie to the women who lives there?  i picked up that the women bears resemblance to the nurse that tended the boys wounds he had a close bond with her.. as it turned out the lady is a nurse aswell.. didnt know this..  anyway so im stoked that i have this gift.. however the good old hubby doesnt believe in anything.. literaslly and i feel like he thinks im a fraud or something.. i feel so unsupported and nearly unloved by this fact.. its annoyikng me to no end.. and its like he doesnt care!  also i keep getting this horrible feeling someone is going to pass away... ive never had anyone die in my family iam close to.. meaning like anyone id met for longer than 5 mins or had any real impact in my life.. no one... so ive had this feeling before.. like im just waiting for a phone call or somethinhg.. its horrible.. anyway  thats my rant

Tags: blah

09:01 am: not a good month
 oh dear... j  is very depressed at the moment.. like most guys he loves his computer games/xbox and all that sorta thing..he goes on them to relax and forget his woes of the world. lol but as of last thursday his world came to an end... literally.. his xbox died, then later that day his phone who had met its death by gabes drewl.. also took the deathly leap and no longer does anything but has a cracked screen(he punched it coz it made him angry) then his compiuter died.. he got a new power thingy and that then exploded in 2 days.. (off note- gabe just crawled perfectly legs working well! yay!!!!)-  so thats  computer, phone and xbox and then yesterday we got up and the net had stopped adn the phone (house phone) was dead.. he looked at everything adn the net (obviously) started again and the phone works but theres nooooo  dial tone sooo strange.. so that was the final cake.. so we lay in bed last night so i had to lay there and explain that these things are only that - things- and they can all be fixed and  re bought.. i think by the time we both fell asleep he was a bit better, poor thing, anyway so the poor man has been off work for a week n a half . and is still a tad sick and is worried about his job.. though he is one of three of their best workers... never going to happen unless the whole company goes bankrupt.. not going to happen.. i think everything just seems worse when u dont feel well and when all these thigns happen all within a few days of each other.. it seems like the worst thing ever-   however if they had died at seperate parts of the yr well apart from each other he wouldnt feel this way ..so this si what i pointed out, oh it was a long night and lot of talking..hmm so ive told him that nothing else will die or stop working.. and everything will work out.. if anyone knows why a land line phone would work but not recieve or make calls. please let me know.. - and yess everything is plugged in and doing it s thing.. but its just not calling or recieving.. funnily enough we cant call telstra..i have no credit and he ahs no mobile.. hmmmm anywho shall write more during end of week..

 oh yes and my mother and sister and her b/f are coming up on wednesday, that should be good! gabriel is moving along so quickly now it feels like alot fo ppl miss so much of his progress!  ova and out


Tags: computer, mobile, phone - death of things..., xbox

12:13 pm: my son has teeth!
 two teeth to be exact.. on the bottom row.. theyare so cute! he can also now crawl.. these two incidents happened all in the saem week within two days of eachother.. clever boy!  lots of crying tho on  the teeth part.. its to be expected..
 on the other hand.. we have decided to buy a house/vill /unit at the end of the yr before the first home owners grant ends..w eare saving thats why we are waiting til then.. so im bouncing out fo my skin but i dont wanna rish this end of the yr too many exciting things happening.. my holiday in oct.. my bday next month.. gabes 1st bday.. xmas... other announcements.. possible weddings.. babies being born.. soo exciting!

11:11 am: interesting
 well we got back form the mountains yesterday.. we were supposed to come back today but j was exhausted and not feeling well.. so we bailed.. however we missed wintermagic! :( whihc id been looking forward to for a yr .. as its only on once.. garr oh well.. id rather a happy adn healthy husband.. plus i think it rained.. so i dont think it was a place for the gabes..  anywho so now my lil angel is 7 months..as of yesterday.. yay!  so big now!.. we saw a few frineds we havent seen for yrs.. had lot so fun and had to give my dog bails away  but he is going to be happier at a new home.. as we are never home.. and when we are he seemed to think we werent paying him enough attention.. he just got madly jealous of gabes  so yeh .. my frined natasha i went to school with has him now.. which was a  horrible parting.. he got very grumpy and leapt up and abrked at me as i walked off.. i felt liek the worst human being ever..  anyway  so then we went and saw the granparents and my mum,. so gabes grans.. and that was fun.. then i got home and read an email.. from my mum.. she hadnt wanted to discuss anything i fornt of people i think so she write it instead.. and shes divorcing her husband by the end fo the yr.. hes my step dad and is a prick.. he hasnt talked ot sam his biological daughter bar from rude comments -since xmas.. and she hates him now.. and mum feels the same way.. so i think she wants to move up this way.. to be closer to gabe and me. maybe more gabe but im not fussed we havent had a good relo for  5 yrs now.. i think its time to get over such things and i feel she has.. she isnt upset about the whole falling aoart of her marriage as its happened gradually and she no longer loves him.. and she knows he doesnt love her.. so that makes it easier.. but its sad coz iam witness to another failed marriage adn yet another one globally.. its just a waste.. but i suppose they got what they needed off each other and they cna now move on.. sam will be happy with just mum. i feel mum wont go crazy like she did with my brother and me.. so thats good.. maybe step dad was the reason she went weird in teh first place..  anywho thast my news .. sad.. but true..

 oh and we are still waiting for gabes teeth and the crawling.. were' getting there.. haha


Tags: stuff

08:34 am: beeen forever!
so ive taken forever to come back on here .. not much has happened really..  its winter magic this weekend so we are going down to the mountains to stay with nik.. so she can visit with gabey shes leaving to go to adelaide on sunday monring bright and early with her guy... so thats exciting for her! plus she may be getting proposed to there as well.. hes been dropping hints and stuff so hopefully il get a smg next monday or so and shel have some news for me! gabey is 7 months old on sat! how time flies!  this yr has gone soo quick  im dizzy.
we just spent over $400 to get our car fixed our stupid brakes were doing weird things  making this strange noise that only happened when they weretn being used. bizzare much? so thats fixed and now feels safe to drive again.. i should be getting my new car soon.. after j's mum has one for herself  which isnt far.. off, as shes currently driving the car i shall inherit ahah so thats a big commodore whic will be strange for me to drive as im used to my little car.. or should i say j's lil car.. i have no want to say i own that car.. men! they cant seem to keep their cars clean its flthy all the time inside and out.. grr anywho when iget my car hel not be making it messy or il make messy! (thsat sounded gross.. i meant it in a non perverted way for once.. lol)
anywho not much else going on.. just waiting around for things basically.. feels kind of strange.. i feel strange anyway .. ikeeep having these weird dreams and then by the time ive woken up i cant rem them but... i rem the feelings associated with them..so im left with this bad/ strange/ disturbing/ sad/ gross/sometimes okay/ uplifted/ searching/ curious ...feeelings  these are different nights that i get all dif feelings.. but it is very weird .. i cant even rem when  this started.. i have been going througha spiritual phase..so maybe thats why... but i think that spiritual phase was brough on by one of these dream feelings.. gah! i dont know.. when i know il write more..

Tags: 7 months, feeelings, gabey, proposal, winter magic

02:52 pm: well!
gabe has his 6 month needles today adn hewas rather brave he had to get two one in each leg poor lil guy he didnt cry til the second one.. it was a bit thicker or something said the nurse.. i felt sooo bad he had been smiling at the nurse two seconds before then this horrified look came about on his face like why would u do that! then he wailed then 30 secs later he looked over at the nurse again.. to see if she was the one whod done it.. not mummy! thankgoodness , we did the 10 min wait outside adn drank our milk and then we were allowed to go(in case of anaphelactic shock.. eeek) he was fine after that now hes just woken up after a 3 hr sleep its makes hima tad grumpy and tired.. or maybe hes just trying to sleep so he doesnt remember it lol.. who knows but hes fine now..  we also had his 6 month check up on friday last week.. and he is doing beautifully.. hes physically a 1 yr old.. so go him! hes 73 cm's tall and weighs 10 kilos, but not over weight hes in proportion said the doc.. hes nearly crawling so far he can push himself up completley with his arms, he can push himself backwards and turn around ina circle so he gets places if he wants to.. just not forward... hihih hes a quick learner.. whihc makes me wonder will he be walkig before long.. my friend stacey who has been around lil babies and children most of her life said he will probs crawl for 2-3 weeks then may start walking as his legs are already at that stage his feet could hold him and he needs no help or assistance if hes holding onto the couch so hes fabulous! im so proud of him as is j..
hes begun to be rather noisey too hes found the shreiking and yelling part of his vocals.. its fabulous but not when we are out and about haha.. he tried it out in the post office  for mum this morning.. oh that was great.. lol
 hmm other than his great leaps and strides in growth i have lil to no goss.. bar that im getting a new car soon.. j';s mum is getting it for me.. i dont know why but she is.. so thats cool its huge but that good for bubs and all our crap we need.. stroler and all.. anywho i am just dropping in.. all is good in the life of mine..

Tags: 1 yr old, car, crawling, gabe, walking

12:56 pm: not much to say really..
just thought id drop in, havent for a while..feeling good, my 'lifestyle change' diet thingy is going well... i had been onthe bggest loser shakes and so on.. but i was feeling so out of it.. like id spend all day pretty much feeling hungry and weak, so i thought thats no good, plus iwas missing food,even healthy foods.. so i ditched the diet crap and am just eating healthy and doing exercise. ive lost about 4-5 kilos so im feeling rahter good and my skin has cleared up.. finally.. its only been like a million yrs! we had a nice weekend down at mhy friends house and we got nicely drunk..had a nice visit with the fams.. which i shal write about later on .. must b ail...

08:08 am: this week
well not much is happening actually.. tho gabriel has figured out how to crawl backwards, mum said they learnt that b4 they go forward, so hel b doing that soon! hes not even 6 months yet! clever lil munchkin.. hes also saying 'yeh' and 'hey' i knwo they are the same word backwards... but he seems to know when to use them.. its cute as,, and hes started saying  'mum-mum' regularily now.. its great he says dad a bit.. liek this morning when j had gone to work, i was changing gabes nappy and he was gabbling on as babies do and then hes said  'd....ad' whihc was obviously dad... so itold him dad had gone to work.. he so clever!
my mother is coming over on friday my sister and her b/f is coming with her theyare staying at hotel in woy woy as our house isnt big enough.. to hold an extra 3 ppl.. i did suggest a few options but i think thyed enjoy the hotel experince more. anywho i got her a mothers day gift adn card, her gift is a black n purple poncho witha  beautiful black and silver broach that does it up at the front.. i think shel like it.. too bad if she doesnt..

we haev all been reminded as mothers day approaches to do our breast screening.. and checks.. so i did one and i dont know if ive found anything but im going to ask my doc when i take gabe for his 6 month check up ina week  n a bit.. we'll see im a tad nervous but there is no history of breast cancer in my fams so i should b fine..

Tags: cancer, dinner, gabriel, hotel, mum, stufff

04:55 pm: tiredness
last night i had a f**ked up dream which like some  dreams do , stayed with me all day long.. it still lingers.. we were supposed to go see some friends today. in which te fucked up dream included one male fried, whom now scares me a lil.. he has done nothing.. oonly his dream state self has, which i dont know if thats worse.. it still stays with me and feels strange..we didnt end up goingtohis frin houe as j hasnt ben very well so wedcidd to have coffee then go home.. and watch movies.. after a movie i decie to was tired adn wetn to go sleep.. didnt happen fr very long.. the dream started up again but i woke and  up in a daze sorta conintued this dream it wasnt nice.. i needed to go to the toilet  so i got up dnow cant seep again..hence being  on here.. grrr so i have to get up soon and start dinner..
i have been having weird dreams lately like since i got back from my holidays at my dads over the easter weekend// i dont know.. hope trhey go away some stay with me all day but i dont rem what they were about  just the feelings in them stay, others- the whole thing carries on for the rest of the day. frustrating.. anywho i betta go and start dinner im hungry-

Tags: all day, dream. craziness, sleep

12:33 pm: home again
yes iam home.. thank the goddess! i dont mind visiting ppl , in fact i love it, however staying with ppl is entirely different, and espec when they are family,, so we (j and gabe ) flew to dads on easter sat, it rained.. gabriel loved the train and plane.. didnt cry once. he was an angel  but hey we all know this.. we didnt go anywhere do anything til the wednesday, we went out for brunch at the brekky baaaah.. its litterally called that! weird but a nice place and they had ok food.. then we went to bunnings to see the plants(gabriel is in love with trees and plants)  whihc he adored.. then kerrie(step mum) bought some paint and small pot plants then we went home.. thursday we were alpacked up adn had to go by 3.30pm it was all very low key we arrived home around 8.30 as we had to go to the shops for dinner and had to get bub stuff.. we all crashed when we got home.. i was and am so glad to be in my own house again.. eat my own food,,do what i want and when.. eeeek!
so im raging about other things currently however.. i have this friend.. and she is pregnant.. she had said about 4 months ago that shed love to have a baby.. and that she doesnt use contraception coz her and her b/f dont have sex like ever.. then.. on valetines.. they did adn she didnt use contraception and bam they got prego.. now shes all spiteful and shit at me.. and i havent done anything.. im annoyed at her but she doesnt know this.. shes annoyed at me coz i planned my baby and am happy to be a mum.. she could have gotten an abortion but her b/f said if she did they would spilt.. (they had pretty much broken up the month b4 valentines anyway..  anyway now shes 14 weeks or so and is calling her baby a parasite.. it makes me so ngry coz that poor baby is going to come into this world being unloved by its mother.. tho the father is over the moon,, ive bet that the mum will leave after its born and he will take care of the bub.. she also said shed hate it if she has a girl..! wtf?.. who says that.. her obviously.. adn shes a trained child care worker.. weirdo.. anywho so thats my peeve at the mo..
in other news- my mother is coming up to stay for a few nights... i know.. i thought id never ever say that ever again in my life.. but i think shes feelign left out since my dad spent so much time with bub.. and shes only had a few days here adn there .. so that  shoud b interesting.. shouldnt it.. ill write more later.. ciao

Tags: stufffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

12:57 pm: another day. another holiday..
well im getting there , the packign that is..  for our lil family trip to coffs harbour to see dad and kerrie.. shall be fun but feels a million miles away being saturday we leave and all.. j's aunt and sis were supposed to come over today but decided  not to mention the trip to melbourne she was taking.. the sis that is.. and so i cleaned the house top to bottom and got food and all and then .. blah no one.. anyway im not going to keep on about it things happen and u cant change that... so tmrw weve got an easter party at our friends place around lunch time then we are gna turn in early coz we have to get up at around 4am on sat morning to get the 5.20 train to the airport so  that morning will be a lil hectic but im good at organising and will have all bubby things and ours ready by this afternoon.. so im so excited its gna b great to get away til next thurs   til then my friend ...til then...

Tags: happy, holidays, house, mornings

01:48 pm: wow ive taken so long
taken forever to write in here! sheesh i suck.. anywho.. lots has happened.. bub is now 4 n a half months old.. and we think we are in actual fact only 4 weeks pregnant again.. today  but we still have to do another test.. on wed..

j has also signed up with the army.. to be an air dispatcher.. hes happy nerrvous.. im very happy.. i feel a lil more secure in our future.. but he is not likin the thought of maybe having to move again back to the mountains area.. its not a totally bad thing.. we'd be closer to all of my family whom i have become closer to since bubs birth and well j's mum lives down near there aswell.. but he prefers live on the coast.. its not far to travel to see our frineds up here on weekends.. but he is not liking it still so wel see.. he is still gna be in the army but hel just have to get over it i think.. he has his testing day on the 27th of may i think.. in newcastle so he has a month n a hlf toget tip top fit.. he already is  but he thinks hes got a bit to go.. jeez! men!

gabriel is now eating big boy rice cereal.. and banana and potato... coz his milk just wasnt enough.. so hes very proud of himself.. and he is in his big cot now.. sohes still getting used to that so mummy now has noooo sleep.. well ok i have about an hr n hlf..  but... since we started the food stint.. hes sleeping longer.. coz hes fuller1 woohoo go mum!
hes also teething duinno if iove mentioned that in past posts.. but holy cow.. the screaming.. weve armed ourselves with bongela and baby panadol and cold teething rings.. but stil poor lil man!..

other than this. nothing else is realy at the forefront.. til then ciao!

11:07 am: sicky
well iam damn tired. mr. gabriel has decided to startr teething.. so i was up pretty much all night and j left for work this mornignat 5.30 i havent been asleep since around then.. its now 11.10am and iam really hungry.. there is a reason for that tho.. we think we are 3 weeks pregnant.. i have had nausea.. implantation bleeding, more peeing, and i realy want fruit and juices again.. plus im sooooo tired as ssaid above..we hadnt planned ontrying again til nov this yr.. but iam on the mini pill and its not very reliable.. as j thinks i took it closer to 9pm as i had allocated 7.30pm for the pill time.. u have a 3 hr leeway, obviously.. this was too late.. ohwell iam happy though and am on my prenatal vitamins and eating healthy and exercising still so thats  good.. i hope i have a girl this time just to even it out..  if we are .. then bub will be due oin the 24/11/09 whihc is 4 days after gbaes bday.. he was early bya week so im gathering this one may do the same.. my babies wil be a yr apart pretty much exactly.. lol.. ohwell.

so this has made my yr look a lil different.. but this is not a badd thing at all..two of my friends are also pregnant so im gna say its in the water lol..

 curently gabe is having a good old convo with me.. hes screeching and wailing lol.. its funny.. hes so cute..but he needsa sleep so that is my mission today..  good luck kayla

Tags: gabriel, goodluck, no sleep, novemeber, pregnancy, vitamins, water

01:36 pm: feeeling goood tho sick
so since my last post i have felt great! tho in the last 2 weeks i have felt sick.. and have had implantation bleeding.. so we are thinking iam 2 weeks pregnant,, i have also been peeing more, felt nauseous, been heaps more hungry and had huge headaches.. iam always tired so i cant say that thats increased.. tho i dont rem being like this this early, and i have been reading up that you can get longer lasting implantation bleeding if u have fraternal twins.. iam next in line for  twins.. as my dad is an identical twin.. well ill keep updating and see how things go, meanwhile two of my friends are pregnant!, so i think its in the water!

things are going great as far as my depression, i think ive qwelled it for the moment.. ive been busy but not enough to be totally immune from it.. anyway i best be off.. just thought id stop in.. and bunty/tegan.. please dont say anythign about it openly on facebook only coz only 2 freinds know i dont want everyone knowing till im at elast 9 weeks okies..

Tags: sick, weeks

09:18 pm: ah life
well i have started this new exercise.. where i write out a depression journal and rate my dy out of 10.. being the best and 1 the shittest.. i think iam getting somewhere, i want to see if i can help myself a lil.. i think id been sitting in thislittle pit of self pity, due to my miscarrage and a few other things..so im going to try this out , i also have to find things in my day that make me smile and truly happy and focus on them instead of theterrible things id been focussing on.., whihc makes sense..doesnt it?..

my stove and oven have been restored.. and i feel better about that.. i love to cook as an arty outlet.. so thats good.. and we got a new bed today aswell as ours was falling apart literally and if you  moed it squeaked which was driving us mad.. anywho..its a big beautiful wooden bed and the mattress is lovely!..

 gabriel is doign well i can just feel a tooth coming down, so hes amd grisly at the moment.. poor lil guy.. so we are bongela'ing it up he thinks its funny coz it numbs his mouth.. the faces!!! hihihi.. welli best b off to the shower...

Tags: bed, diary, grabriel., stove

01:08 pm: its a lil hard to swollow

ok so i just watched , the doctors. and they had a special on mums.. new mums, with little babies, not unlike myself..and i had this mad realisation that iam  suffering from postpartum depression, i knew i was a lil bit but not to this extent, as i listened i realised that even the things i thought werent even 'sucha  big deal' were big big things. one symptom is knwoing you have it and feeling to ashamed and embarrassed to go to your doctor and explain how you feel and have felt. and so i have this feeling i have this horible feeling that he wont be with me forever this is also another symptom,i lvoe him to death and dont want to be away from him but ifeel like  i need space aswell and i feel guilty for that  theres been just my normal sporadic depression mixed with paranoia and anxiety, like everything is a lil too much.

i also had a miscariage on wednesday, which was a surprise at the time but not so much later, j and i had been fighting very badly all week and he was wondering why, my hormones were going crazy.
soo now i feel a tad a better  but i feel so drained from it all.. i dont want to be depressed and down and have all these thigns that literally hold you back from living ur whole life.

so i have started exercising heaps and i wanna fit bak into all my old clothes, and the newer one si bought that are a bit tight.

id been eating badly since i had bub , coz when i was pregnant i couldnt eat salami and all those yummy soft  cheeses, so i indulged completely thinking the whole time' i can easily lose weight, it wont get so out of hand that i cant..' but it did.. so now iam feling disgusting, so i do a hr of exercise 3 times a week and any more if i can fit it in,, ive also started eating better breads not the white ones and more yoghurt and mineral water.
 my nails are strong and are really long and great at the moment and my skin has calmed down so i can wear a bit more showy clothes like singelts and the like,, so much relief.. i thought id have to go buy some meds for it.. alas now it seems the end of acne is nigh.. hoorah!!!

iam trying as hard as i can to stop my paranoid thoughts. such as ' why are my friends all so dismissive these days?''  ' did i do somethign to them for them to treat me like that ?'
 the list goes on, i donteven rem when i started feeling paranoid, but i know it wasnt long ago... il do my damnedest to rid myself of it...

my stupid stove and ovenhave died.so this happened last thurs or wed or something  and so i have had no oven or stove to cook on.. whihc is frustrating as i use ti once or twice a day .. shmeh  soo i called the realestate and aguy came over today but he said that hes never seen the fitting in it so he has to go order one in and that could a few more days.. grrr.. i wanna be able to cook again!..
 anywho thats all i have to say at the moment, so ill go .. ciao

Tags: no cooking.., no oven, no stove

08:38 am: valentinesssss

so that was a fun few days.. im stil in the midst of it all really, how ever..im excited to say


I CAN HAVE SEX AGAIN!  properly i mean, with out pain  or anything..as of last night.. yay!, so my stitches have completly healed and my scar tissue is happpy.. so yay for sex.. woohooo! you take sex for granted when you can just delved straight in... it kmakes life oring and bitter when there is lack of, trust me.. i know!
i also feel greatly like myself again.. well more completely than i did the other day when i announced that feeling. im starting to lose my baby weight and am just happier with in myself.. and im really excited about this yr what with trying for bub #2 in late nov, yes i decided ill stop my pil in nov on bubs birthday... i think thats fitting..  so from the 20th of nov we shall be trying, unless i fall pregent earlier, whihc is possible lol..i have realised it is not as easy as it may seem to take the mini pill inwith in the saem 3 hrs every day, my set allocated time is 7.30pm  for dinner time.. i took it at 4pm the other day, not thinking . grr so i just hope that mybody didnt notice, tho i have been feeeling sick since then and more hungry, but i wouldnt prengant just yet cos it wouldnt have even fertilised yet.. so its all goood.. for now lol. i wouldnt mind and neither would j if i were to fall sooner its just that id like to enjoy the little luxuries of non pregnancy for the yr while i can.. but im fine with either.. ;) valentines was god. i made a pre val dinner on friday  night , we had a big fight about not much as usual and then made up, he made me a bubble bath adn then sat we did not much in the morning and then we had basa fish for lunch and watched movies then had chicken and  the like for dinner.. it was lovley j got choclates and wine and i had given him roses and lollies the night b4 plus we had prawns.. so we were both spoilt. i had another bubble bath and today weare going to get some dvds and then kb thai for dinner tonight.. im happy and relaxed and wish  to stay this way... yeeeeha!

Tags: bubble bath, chocolates, lollies, movies, prawns, roses, snuggling, uggboots, wine